DYNAMITE, BAZOOKAS AND ROBOTS

As you might expect, it’s impossible to have Dynamite Week without some tunes. And sure, I could go for the obvious, but why post AC/DC’s “TNT” when you can post an obscure funk classic by Tony Camillo’s Bazuka?

Shut up. I love this song. It kicks teh booty.

If you need something a bit more uptempo and 80s-influenced, there’s always Ima Robot.

Fire in the disco,

This is dF

TERRORISM IN KENTUCKY: IF GOD CAN’T STOP IT, YR SCREWED

ITEM: The 2006 law organizing Kentucky’s Office of Homeland Security lists its initial duty as "stressing the dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the Commonwealth."

Specifically, Homeland Security is ordered to publicize God's benevolent protection in its reports, and it must post a plaque at the entrance to the state Emergency Operations Center with an 88-word statement that begins, "The safety and security of the Commonwealth cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Almighty God."

Apparently, people are only just noticing this.

Notice that these people get $28 million (mostly federal funds) for their Homeland Security budget. Because God doesn’t come cheap.

Still, Kentucky hasn’t had a terrorist attack since it appointed God as its Homeland Security chief. Clearly money well spent.

FUN FACT: The state rep responsible for the floor amendment requiring this is a Southern Baptist minister. And – wait for it – a Democrat.

See, and you were going to blame Republicans right off the bat for that one.

Ezekiel 25:17,

This is dF

OMG OMG GAY PENGUINS STEAL YR CHILDREN!

ITEM [via drhoz ]: “Experts” at the Polarland Park in Harbin, northeast China, say that gay penguins have been trying to steal eggs from heterosexual penguins to become surrogate dads, according to the Austrian Times.

Keepers have segregated the couple after they caught them trying to trick straight birds into parting with their offspring by placing round stones at their feet and then running off with an egg.

Honestly, I have no idea what to make of this story. I’m not 100% convinced that it’s true (though it’s possible that some zoo employee in China really did tell an Austrian newspaper all this).

But the China Daily version is worth passing on in part because it almost reads like an allegory of how human gays should be treated (although China’s official policy on gayness is “don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t get married”), and partly because of the accompanying picture and caption:

You know how you can tell those penguins are gay? The China Daily does.

FUN FACT: I have five American dollars that says anti-gay groups (or someone at Fox, which is the same thing, really) will use this story to “prove” that gays shouldn’t adopt. Which will be great because then the gays can be all like, “Dude, they’re f***ing penguins.”

Lock up yr daughters,

This is dF