JESUS JUST LEFT CHICAGO TO FORM A ZZ TOP TRIBUTE BAND

ITEM [via WFMU Beware Of The Blog]: And now, an Apostolic Pentecostal Acts 2:38 Christian rock/blues/metal band playing a song about the Satanic danger of allowing women to talk in church.

"Lou Reed - Halloween Parade - New York Album" (Watch on YouTube)

They’re called WinterBand (formed by father Steve Winter and son Philip), and they’re apparently not kidding.

That doesn’t mean they’re not funny (in ways they probably don’t intend, that is – the resemblance to ZZ Top and this gem from the credits: “Special thanks to Bobo on bass, Hayseed on guitar and especially the Dept of Corrections for allowing them to do this as part of work release”, etc).

But they also have a song called “Obama Muslim 911”, which is exactly what it sounds like. So that sucks most of the fun out of it.

Still, I have to admit that musically, they’re actually not bad.

No wonder Zell “John Kerry Won’t Save You” Miller is a fan.



Get thee to a nunnery,

This is dF

BREAKING: HETEROSEXUAL PORN WILL MAKE YOU AS GAY AS A PICNIC BASKET

[O God it's going to be one of those days, isn't it?]

ITEM: Michael Schwartz, chief of staff to Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) informs the Values Voter Summit that “All pornography is homosexual pornography, because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.”

In other words, masturbation is no different from gay sex. Well of course. Plus, there’s all those close-ups of penises in the blowjob scenes.

He also figures it’s good to tell pre-adolescents this because they’re very homophobic at that age:

It is my observation that boys of that age have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people. They speak badly about homosexuality. And that’s because they don’t want to be that way. They don’t want to fall into it.

So tell ‘em Playboy will make you gay and they’ll never want to look at a picture of a naked woman again.

Values!

Apparently all this was part of a track at the summit on “masculinism” – like feminism, but for guys.

Abstract:
Feminism has wreaked havoc on marriage, women, children and men. It is time to redress the disorder it has wrought and that must start with getting the principles and ideals for a new “masculinism” right. Such a “masculinism” will have its dovetailing counterpart in a new “feminism” for they mutually define each other and, in nature, are meant to be complementary. This panel will begin this exploration.

No word on whether the topic of women talking in church came up.

I could go on, but Rachel Maddow has it covered.

A lot of this is business as usual, but as has been pointed out by others, these are the people turning up at the anti-Obama protests that Republicans are embracing more than ever because they’re under the impression that anyone who opposes a Democrat president can’t be all bad. Whether this means the crackpot fringe is being pulled into the mainstream or the GOP is being pulled to the fringe, I’m not yet sure.

Either way, the GOP’s chances of decoupling itself from the Jesus Batshit Hysteria Train are getting slimmer all the time. Which should make the 2012 race very entertaining indeed. I’d like to see the “porn makes you gay” question come up at a debate, just so one candidate could say, “Okay, in the first place, where do you get this bullshit, and second of all, even if yr right, so fucking what?”

Ha ha. Just kidding. No one’s going to say that. Unless I throw my hat in the ring.

Not that I’m making any official announcement. But I wouldn’t rule it out.

Glad to be gay,

This is dF

YR CITY LIES IN DUST, MY FRIEND

Here’s what Sydney, Australia looked like this morning.



That’s the result of a dust storm that blew into the city overnight. It’s red because of the sunrise trying to pierce through the dust cloud. Surreal and beautiful, but a major pain even if you don’t develop asthma from it.

The Sydney Morning Herald has some stunning photos for you go look at, as well as some good commentary on what it is and how it happened.

Meanwhile, drhoz has the obvious Mars analogy covered.

Life on Mars,

This is dF

BREAKING NEWS: I SAW SARAH PALIN DRINKING A PINA COLADA AT TRADER VICS. HER HAIR WAS PERFECT.

Okay, we don’t have a Trader Vics in Hong Kong. And I didn’t really see her. But as promised earlier, she is in Hong Kong. And she gave her speech at the CLSA Investors Forum. Here’s how that went:



No big surprises then, though we did get an explanation as to why CLSA barred the media from her speech:

CLSA, an arm of French bank Credit Agricole, said it closed Palin's session to the media after she indicated that she would have to adjust her speech if reporters were present.

Ah yes. On account of the media always puts words in her mouth. Like “death panels”. And “moose burgers”.

If the WSJ is anything to go by (and how did they get in, by the way?), she didn’t say anything all that different than what she usually says – Obama is evil, Reagan was bitchin, China is a great trading partner apart from the whole Tibet thing, Alaska is awesome, best seafood in America, try the salmon, give us yr money, etc.

The Twitter coverage provides additional insight.

Like any good speaker, she also geared her talk to the audience:

We have much in common with Hong Kong. We’re both young and transient, independent and libertarian. Places that continue to show the world, the power and the resilience of the free market system at a time when too many are questioning it.

Presumably no one told her about our socialized medicine, public housing and govt-funded infrastructure projects. Because then she’d have to rewrite her whole speech again.

Or maybe not.

Alaska loves you,

This is dF