OBAMA CRUSH
Oct. 10th, 2008 01:43 amNow I shall bore you with my political views. Aren’t you lucky?
As an international man of mystery, I am often asked by local friends and colleagues, “So, who do you support in the presidential election?” I will officially answer this question now.
I don’t normally endorse candidates, if only because I don’t care for either the Republican or Democratic Party. Truth be told, the last time I liked a major party candidate was 1992. That’d be Bubba Clinton. By 1996, I was voting independent. Make of that what you will.
So much for ancient history.
Here in 2008, regular readers will have probably worked out that I’m in the Obama camp. And they’d be right. But I should explain why, because it’s not what yr thinking. You see, it's not about the issues. It's about this:

FIVE DEF SUPERFICIAL REASONS TO BACK BARACK
1. He’s young.
He’s only four years older than me, actually. That means he was molded outside of the Baby Boomer politics that have dominated the country since Vietnam. More to the point, that also means he is far more likely to be in touch with the modern world. I want a president who understands the world around him. John McCain doesn’t even have a computer. Who wants someone like that in charge in the Interwub Age?
2. He’s only been in Washington two years.
Inexperienced? Good. That means he’s more likely to think outside the machine and have fresh approaches. And don’t point to Junior Bush as an example of the dangers of inexperience. Junior’s problem wasn’t inexperience. His problem was being a goddamn delusional waterhead who let his equally waterheaded family pals loot the store before running it into the ground.
3. He’s elite.
Yr damn right I want the President to be smarter and more GQ than the average American. President Sixpack, my lily-white ass.
4. Conservatives will totally freak if he wins.
Frankly, there’s no better reason to vote for him. Which brings us to ...
5. I will never, EVER vote Republican under any circumstances as long as they keep portraying themselves as the Irrational Flag-Waving Heterosexual Xenophobic Jesus Party.
Seriously. Consider that eight years ago, McCain was the most level-headed person in the GOP (relatively speaking), and he had to drop that and suck up to the lunatic fringe to better his chances of winning. And that was BEFORE he selected Sarah Palin to secure the Moose Eating Fundamentalist Dingbat Vote. No thanks, I'd rather have inept, bumbling tax-and-spend Democrats run the country.
DISCLAIMER: None of the above is meant to infer that Obama will be a perfect president, or even a good one. For all his potential qualities, FactCheck proves regularly that he’s a politician who’s not above distortions and lies to beat the opposition. I fully expect to be disappointed by him, if for no other reason that Junior Bush has fucked up the country so badly that it will probably take two or three presidential terms worth of unpopular decisions to fix. Either way, I’m not convinced by many of Obama's ideas. And forget all his talk about changing Washington. He won’t.
To be honest, he was never my first choice in the Demo primaries. I wanted Mike Gravel, personally. And I’d probably be backing him now if he hadn’t lost the Libertarian race to Bob Barr (with whom I have a bad history).
But so what? Our choices are Obama and McCain, and it’s clear that all McCain has to offer is more of the same. The fact that he’s technically smarter than Bush is no consolation to me. I can get that from an Obama presidency, PLUS I get someone who at the very least is far more capable of restoring America’s rep and relations in the world. Trust me, that matters. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: you wanna lead the Free World, you gotta listen to what the Free World has to say. And you lead by example, not with ultimatums.
Okay. Enough talk. Let’s do this.
B to the A to the R-A-C-K-O-B-A-M-A,
This is dF and I approve this message
As an international man of mystery, I am often asked by local friends and colleagues, “So, who do you support in the presidential election?” I will officially answer this question now.
I don’t normally endorse candidates, if only because I don’t care for either the Republican or Democratic Party. Truth be told, the last time I liked a major party candidate was 1992. That’d be Bubba Clinton. By 1996, I was voting independent. Make of that what you will.
So much for ancient history.
Here in 2008, regular readers will have probably worked out that I’m in the Obama camp. And they’d be right. But I should explain why, because it’s not what yr thinking. You see, it's not about the issues. It's about this:

FIVE DEF SUPERFICIAL REASONS TO BACK BARACK
1. He’s young.
He’s only four years older than me, actually. That means he was molded outside of the Baby Boomer politics that have dominated the country since Vietnam. More to the point, that also means he is far more likely to be in touch with the modern world. I want a president who understands the world around him. John McCain doesn’t even have a computer. Who wants someone like that in charge in the Interwub Age?
2. He’s only been in Washington two years.
Inexperienced? Good. That means he’s more likely to think outside the machine and have fresh approaches. And don’t point to Junior Bush as an example of the dangers of inexperience. Junior’s problem wasn’t inexperience. His problem was being a goddamn delusional waterhead who let his equally waterheaded family pals loot the store before running it into the ground.
3. He’s elite.
Yr damn right I want the President to be smarter and more GQ than the average American. President Sixpack, my lily-white ass.
4. Conservatives will totally freak if he wins.
Frankly, there’s no better reason to vote for him. Which brings us to ...
5. I will never, EVER vote Republican under any circumstances as long as they keep portraying themselves as the Irrational Flag-Waving Heterosexual Xenophobic Jesus Party.
Seriously. Consider that eight years ago, McCain was the most level-headed person in the GOP (relatively speaking), and he had to drop that and suck up to the lunatic fringe to better his chances of winning. And that was BEFORE he selected Sarah Palin to secure the Moose Eating Fundamentalist Dingbat Vote. No thanks, I'd rather have inept, bumbling tax-and-spend Democrats run the country.
DISCLAIMER: None of the above is meant to infer that Obama will be a perfect president, or even a good one. For all his potential qualities, FactCheck proves regularly that he’s a politician who’s not above distortions and lies to beat the opposition. I fully expect to be disappointed by him, if for no other reason that Junior Bush has fucked up the country so badly that it will probably take two or three presidential terms worth of unpopular decisions to fix. Either way, I’m not convinced by many of Obama's ideas. And forget all his talk about changing Washington. He won’t.
To be honest, he was never my first choice in the Demo primaries. I wanted Mike Gravel, personally. And I’d probably be backing him now if he hadn’t lost the Libertarian race to Bob Barr (with whom I have a bad history).
But so what? Our choices are Obama and McCain, and it’s clear that all McCain has to offer is more of the same. The fact that he’s technically smarter than Bush is no consolation to me. I can get that from an Obama presidency, PLUS I get someone who at the very least is far more capable of restoring America’s rep and relations in the world. Trust me, that matters. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: you wanna lead the Free World, you gotta listen to what the Free World has to say. And you lead by example, not with ultimatums.
Okay. Enough talk. Let’s do this.
B to the A to the R-A-C-K-O-B-A-M-A,
This is dF and I approve this message
no subject
on 2008-10-10 09:19 am (UTC)