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LUST: PART OF A BALANCED BREAKFAST
Feb. 1st, 2010 10:48 amGood morning, Interwubbers.
It’s Monday morning and you need breakfast.
Raquel Welch made you some.
FUN FACT: This is from the original version of Bedazzled, which I highly recommend. And no, not just for this scene.
The most important meal of the day,
This is dF
It’s Monday morning and you need breakfast.
Raquel Welch made you some.
FUN FACT: This is from the original version of Bedazzled, which I highly recommend. And no, not just for this scene.
The most important meal of the day,
This is dF
Some things on the Internet defy description.
This is one of those things.
I mean, I could tell you that it’s a mustard commercial featuring two girl-next-door bikini models playing with meat. With banjo accompaniment. I could even give you the URL of the site where it originated from something like six years ago.
But that wouldn’t really get the full idea across.
You really do have to see it for yrself.
BONUS TRACK: The Internet being what it is, there’s also a flapjacks version of this.
Pass the syrup,
This is dF
This is one of those things.
I mean, I could tell you that it’s a mustard commercial featuring two girl-next-door bikini models playing with meat. With banjo accompaniment. I could even give you the URL of the site where it originated from something like six years ago.
But that wouldn’t really get the full idea across.
You really do have to see it for yrself.
BONUS TRACK: The Internet being what it is, there’s also a flapjacks version of this.
Pass the syrup,
This is dF
And now, we walk like the camels do.
Posted for no real reason except (1) I love this song and (2) I noticed today that the only time my Southern accent ever returns is when I say the phrase “pointy boots”.
On the downside, I now have a hunger for Little Debbie snack products.
Who’s in charge here,
This is dF
Posted for no real reason except (1) I love this song and (2) I noticed today that the only time my Southern accent ever returns is when I say the phrase “pointy boots”.
On the downside, I now have a hunger for Little Debbie snack products.
Who’s in charge here,
This is dF
BIG BALLS OF MEAT
Jan. 11th, 2010 10:06 pmAnd yr first big hit of the 2010 movie season is:
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
Yes, I know this came out at least a semester ago for many of you. But it only opened in Hong Kong less than two weeks ago.
And it’s great fun: manic nerd scientist invents a food machine that accidentally makes food rain from the sky. Hilarity and unforeseen consequences ensue.
The whole concept is ridiculous, but they make the most of it – once the food starts coming down, the film shifts from zany slaptick to very surreal zany slapstick – which gets even more surreal once it starts parodying Roland Emmerich disaster films.
There’s also some not-so-subtle commentary on runaway technology, gluttony, the cost of a free lunch, how society values good looks and idiocy over smarts, and the obligatory father-son bonding routine. But for all that, I can’t remember the last time the bridal unit and I laughed this hard in a movie theatre.
In a word, wacky. Wacky is good. We need more wacky in cinema.
FUN FACT: The funniest part, of course, was wondering who decided to model the cop character after Mr T, only to find out that it WAS Mr T.
Pity the fool,
This is dF
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
Yes, I know this came out at least a semester ago for many of you. But it only opened in Hong Kong less than two weeks ago.
And it’s great fun: manic nerd scientist invents a food machine that accidentally makes food rain from the sky. Hilarity and unforeseen consequences ensue.
The whole concept is ridiculous, but they make the most of it – once the food starts coming down, the film shifts from zany slaptick to very surreal zany slapstick – which gets even more surreal once it starts parodying Roland Emmerich disaster films.
There’s also some not-so-subtle commentary on runaway technology, gluttony, the cost of a free lunch, how society values good looks and idiocy over smarts, and the obligatory father-son bonding routine. But for all that, I can’t remember the last time the bridal unit and I laughed this hard in a movie theatre.
In a word, wacky. Wacky is good. We need more wacky in cinema.
FUN FACT: The funniest part, of course, was wondering who decided to model the cop character after Mr T, only to find out that it WAS Mr T.
Pity the fool,
This is dF
IRAN-CONTRA: THE THEME RESTAURANT
Jan. 8th, 2010 12:14 pmITEM: Maggie Koerth-Baker has dinner at El Avion, a restaurant in Costa Rica that sits inside a 1954 Fairchild C-123 cargo plane – specifically one of two such planes bought with the help of the CIA to run weapons (also purchased with the help of the CIA) to guerrillas in Nicaragua in the early 1980s as part of the Iran-Contra Affair.
The other C-123 was shot down over Nicaragua – which is ultimately how the entire Iran-Contra scandal was exposed.
Good food, Maggie says.
I’ve never been to Costa Rica, but if I get a chance to go, this is on my to-do list.
Shot down in flames,
This is dF
The other C-123 was shot down over Nicaragua – which is ultimately how the entire Iran-Contra scandal was exposed.
Good food, Maggie says.
I’ve never been to Costa Rica, but if I get a chance to go, this is on my to-do list.
Shot down in flames,
This is dF
COOKING AT THE SPEED OF BACON
Dec. 30th, 2009 12:14 pmMay 1968: Bacon achieves the 90-second mark via the microwave oven.
March 2009: The microwave is defeated by a bunch of kids with a blowtorch.
Cute. But can you make a QUALITY bacon sandwich in 30 seconds? Not on this evidence. I like my bacon to taste like bacon and skillet grease, not gas.
Take it back and do it RIGHT.
Flame off,
This is dF
March 2009: The microwave is defeated by a bunch of kids with a blowtorch.
Cute. But can you make a QUALITY bacon sandwich in 30 seconds? Not on this evidence. I like my bacon to taste like bacon and skillet grease, not gas.
Take it back and do it RIGHT.
Flame off,
This is dF
COME HELP BASTE THE TURKEY
Nov. 26th, 2009 11:10 pmAs I’ve posted here in the past, the main thing I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving is that we don’t celebrate it here in Hong Kong. Yes. I am the Scrooge of Thanksgivings.
But then I’m an agnostic with historical perspective who doesn’t care for turkey or American football. So there’s not really a lot there to hold my interest.
Still, I suppose it depends on how you go about “celebrating” Thanksgiving.
As this marquee sign for San Francisco’s Market Street Cinema illustrates [via YesButNoButYes].
That’s more like it.
Butter my buns,
This is dF
But then I’m an agnostic with historical perspective who doesn’t care for turkey or American football. So there’s not really a lot there to hold my interest.
Still, I suppose it depends on how you go about “celebrating” Thanksgiving.
As this marquee sign for San Francisco’s Market Street Cinema illustrates [via YesButNoButYes].
That’s more like it.
Butter my buns,
This is dF
ITEM: Cocoa Krispies claims it "helps support your child's immunity" on the front of the box.
San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera, suspects Kellog’s of appealing to fear of swine flu and writes a letter to the CEO demanding evidence:
A Kellogg's flack explains all to SF Weekly:
Oh. So that’s healthy then.
And I'm sure Kellog's doesn't get its peer-reviewed research from the same place Merck does.
Snap crackle pop,
This is dF
San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera, suspects Kellog’s of appealing to fear of swine flu and writes a letter to the CEO demanding evidence:
The immunity claims may also mislead parents into believing that serving this sugary cereal will actually boost their child's immunity, leaving less likely to take more productive steps to protect their children's health.
A Kellogg's flack explains all to SF Weekly:
Kellogg's Krispies cereals provide consumers with 25 percent of their daily value of vitamins A, C, and E, which play an important role in boosting immunity according to peer-reviewed, published, scientific research.
Oh. So that’s healthy then.
And I'm sure Kellog's doesn't get its peer-reviewed research from the same place Merck does.
Snap crackle pop,
This is dF
It’s Halloween in Hong Kong. And we has cake, bitches!
Home slice,
This is dF
Home slice,
This is dF
Good morning, Intersluts.
It's Monday morning. Charlie Sheen will make you breakfast now. On Valeria Golino’s tummy.
Greatest short-order sex scene with bacon ever filmed. Obviously.
Over easy,
This is dF
It's Monday morning. Charlie Sheen will make you breakfast now. On Valeria Golino’s tummy.
Greatest short-order sex scene with bacon ever filmed. Obviously.
Over easy,
This is dF
Following up on the Cynthia “Stay Hungry” Davis story, where Davis (a Republican state rep in Missouri) opposed a summer lunch program for poor kids on the grounds that “Hunger can be a positive motivator” and is also healthier because “People who are struggling with lack of food usually do not have an obesity problem”:
Keith Olbermann found out and named her “Worst Person In The World” for it.
So she’s put out a press release defending her opposition to the food program. There’s a lot of the usual “I was quoted out of context and you twisted my words and why do you hate children so much?” stuff, but basically (and I had to read it a few times to get her point) she seems to be saying that she opposes govt food programs because:
Notice that she doesn’t actually give any concrete suggestions for actually doing #3 apart from leaving it to churches (who can’t do it without govt assistance unless yr pastor’s name is Rick Warren) or finding gainful employment in the wholesome, family-friendly fast food industry. Which is as well since #1 and #2 don’t seem to have any basis in reality, either.
Still, points for pretending that govt lunch programs have nothing to do with the fact that some families don’t make enough to feed their kids three square a day, and that their food expenses are often higher than middle-class families. Makes it easier to just rattle off a bunch of batshit about the positive side of hunger.
"Hunger makes food taste better."
See? I can do it too.
I need lunch,
This is dF
Keith Olbermann found out and named her “Worst Person In The World” for it.
So she’s put out a press release defending her opposition to the food program. There’s a lot of the usual “I was quoted out of context and you twisted my words and why do you hate children so much?” stuff, but basically (and I had to read it a few times to get her point) she seems to be saying that she opposes govt food programs because:
1. It takes away the rights of parents to feed their kids.
2. Meal time is family time, and you can’t have family time if the kids are out getting lunch somewhere.
3. The solution isn’t to feed kids, but to enable parents to feed them.
2. Meal time is family time, and you can’t have family time if the kids are out getting lunch somewhere.
3. The solution isn’t to feed kids, but to enable parents to feed them.
Notice that she doesn’t actually give any concrete suggestions for actually doing #3 apart from leaving it to churches (who can’t do it without govt assistance unless yr pastor’s name is Rick Warren) or finding gainful employment in the wholesome, family-friendly fast food industry. Which is as well since #1 and #2 don’t seem to have any basis in reality, either.
Still, points for pretending that govt lunch programs have nothing to do with the fact that some families don’t make enough to feed their kids three square a day, and that their food expenses are often higher than middle-class families. Makes it easier to just rattle off a bunch of batshit about the positive side of hunger.
"Hunger makes food taste better."
See? I can do it too.
I need lunch,
This is dF
Okay. It was one thing to have Padma Lakshmi making love to chowing down on a Hardee’s/Carl Jr bacon burger.
But now Hardee’s/Carl Jr have hired “top rated bikini body” Audrina Patridge (who may be famous – I’m not sure)making love to chowing down on a Hardee’s/Carl Jr teriyaki burger.
( Video behind the jump to conform with office dress codes )
Which I might not bother to mention except that it seems Burger King is keen to up the ante in the meat-sex competition with this.
Which I mention for a couple of reasons:
1. I actually saw the same ad for Burger King in Singapore last week. I thought it was a local campaign, seeing as how oral sex in Singapore was only legalized less than two years ago. And that was only for straight people. So I thought, you know, progress. (Insert "$6.25 slut" joke here.)
2. Ads like this are apparently why MIC – that Burger King franchisee in Tennessee – put “Global Warming Is Baloney” on its signs.
JJ McNelis, MIC’s marketing president, told Lou Dobbs that they did the signs in a response to some of BK’s “poorer marketing”. Not the Seven Incher specifically, but the one with Sir Mix-a-Lot rapping about square booty to promote a Spongebob kids meal.
Quite.
So you can expect more scientifically inaccurate conservative sloganeering from MIC to offset the inevitable BK/BJ jokes. Maybe something on how abstinence-only sex ed works 100%.
Incidentally, the transcript of that interview is worth reading if you enjoy the spectacle of Lou Dobbs blathering about how brave MIC is and how Big Business doesn’t do nearly enough to stand up for its First Amendment right to push oversimplified political views on its customers, for which American soldiers are dying to protect.
From you I get opinions,
This is dF
But now Hardee’s/Carl Jr have hired “top rated bikini body” Audrina Patridge (who may be famous – I’m not sure)
( Video behind the jump to conform with office dress codes )
Which I might not bother to mention except that it seems Burger King is keen to up the ante in the meat-sex competition with this.
Which I mention for a couple of reasons:
1. I actually saw the same ad for Burger King in Singapore last week. I thought it was a local campaign, seeing as how oral sex in Singapore was only legalized less than two years ago. And that was only for straight people. So I thought, you know, progress. (Insert "$6.25 slut" joke here.)
2. Ads like this are apparently why MIC – that Burger King franchisee in Tennessee – put “Global Warming Is Baloney” on its signs.
JJ McNelis, MIC’s marketing president, told Lou Dobbs that they did the signs in a response to some of BK’s “poorer marketing”. Not the Seven Incher specifically, but the one with Sir Mix-a-Lot rapping about square booty to promote a Spongebob kids meal.
Well, I got to tell you, I hear on the frontline that we caught a lot of grief over that particular campaign so we thought that putting up a little different message might change the dialogue a little bit. By golly, we certainly succeeded on that front.
Quite.
So you can expect more scientifically inaccurate conservative sloganeering from MIC to offset the inevitable BK/BJ jokes. Maybe something on how abstinence-only sex ed works 100%.
Incidentally, the transcript of that interview is worth reading if you enjoy the spectacle of Lou Dobbs blathering about how brave MIC is and how Big Business doesn’t do nearly enough to stand up for its First Amendment right to push oversimplified political views on its customers, for which American soldiers are dying to protect.
From you I get opinions,
This is dF
STAY HUNGRY, MY FRIENDS
Jun. 24th, 2009 02:16 pmITEM [via Def Agent ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lorilori ]: State Rep. Cynthia Davis (R-MO) gives her thoughts on the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services’ summer food program, which provides “food during the summer for thousands of low-income Missouri children who rely on the school cafeteria for free or reduced-price meals during the regular school year.”
She’s against it, basically. And here's one reason why:
Classy.
She also trots out the usual Repub arguments of how Big Govt programs are dehumanizing and wasteful. Which may or may not be true, but it’s worth pointing out that what she’s essentially saying is that it’s better for kids to starve (which builds character) than for the govt to spend a dime to help them.
I’m just saying.
Feed me,
This is dF
lorilori ]: State Rep. Cynthia Davis (R-MO) gives her thoughts on the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services’ summer food program, which provides “food during the summer for thousands of low-income Missouri children who rely on the school cafeteria for free or reduced-price meals during the regular school year.” She’s against it, basically. And here's one reason why:
“Anyone under 18 can be eligible? Can’t they get a job during the summer by the time they are 16? Hunger can be a positive motivator. What is wrong with the idea of getting a job so you can get better meals? Tip: If you work for McDonald’s, they will feed you for free during your break.”
Classy.
She also trots out the usual Repub arguments of how Big Govt programs are dehumanizing and wasteful. Which may or may not be true, but it’s worth pointing out that what she’s essentially saying is that it’s better for kids to starve (which builds character) than for the govt to spend a dime to help them.
I’m just saying.
Feed me,
This is dF
Previously on Senseless Acts of Bloggery:
4. While I won’t be doing much travelogue stuff, Def Agentlorilori has assigned me to look into the Legend Of The Seah Street Deli Slut.
see more Fail Blog
I happen to know where the Seah Street Deli is, but I’ve never eaten there. And they don’t put their menu online. So I’ll have to go there and check out the $6.25 Slut for myself.
I went.
( The thrilling conclusion after the jump! )
Not in the New York groove,
This is dF
4. While I won’t be doing much travelogue stuff, Def Agent
lorilori has assigned me to look into the Legend Of The Seah Street Deli Slut.see more Fail Blog
I happen to know where the Seah Street Deli is, but I’ve never eaten there. And they don’t put their menu online. So I’ll have to go there and check out the $6.25 Slut for myself.
I went.
( The thrilling conclusion after the jump! )
Not in the New York groove,
This is dF
Meat dress!
Meat hats!
See also: bacon bra!
PRODUCTION NOTE: Yes, that's real meat.
Eat my dress,
This is dF
Meat hats!
See also: bacon bra!
PRODUCTION NOTE: Yes, that's real meat.
Eat my dress,
This is dF
ITEM: A judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismisses a fraud complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased "Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries" because she believed "crunchberries" were real fruit.
Quoth the judge:
To be fair, I’m sure this could have been avoided if Quaker hadn’t changed the packaging.
I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure the words “imitation berries” are a key term here.
That said, it says a lot when you have to actually spell that out for people. But then no one’s sued FrankenBerry for not containing any real frankenberries. Yet. So, you know, it could be worse.
BONUS LITIGATION: Jonathan Lee Riches files a lawsuit in federal court seeking an injunction to stop the Guinness Book of World Records from naming him as the person who has filed the most lawsuits in the history of mankind.
Right. I’m stopping there.
Litigation nation,
This is dF
Quoth the judge:
This Court is not aware of, nor has Plaintiff alleged the existence of, any actual fruit referred to as a "crunchberry."
To be fair, I’m sure this could have been avoided if Quaker hadn’t changed the packaging.
| OLD BOX | NEW BOX |
 |  |
I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure the words “imitation berries” are a key term here.
That said, it says a lot when you have to actually spell that out for people. But then no one’s sued FrankenBerry for not containing any real frankenberries. Yet. So, you know, it could be worse.
BONUS LITIGATION: Jonathan Lee Riches files a lawsuit in federal court seeking an injunction to stop the Guinness Book of World Records from naming him as the person who has filed the most lawsuits in the history of mankind.
Right. I’m stopping there.
Litigation nation,
This is dF
ITEM [via popfiend ]: Like many of you, when I need incisive hard-hitting political analysis or the latest scientific data on global warming, I check the signs at Burger King. And the verdict on global warming has been issued. At least in Memphis.
The Memphis Flyer investigates, and after being informed that the signs are legit and not a prank, eventually works out that the signs are not authorized by The King (a.k.a. Burger King Corp.).
The going theory is that the sign messages are the brainchild of someone at Memphis-based fast-food management company MIC, a franchisee which operates over 40 BKs as well as three Popeye's and five All-in-One's. MIC hasn’t given an official response yet.
Anyway, this interests me because it does highlight the risks of franchising a business. I wonder if BK or other franchise-based businesses have rules about that kind of thing, and what happens when you break them. If nothing else, a BKC spokesperson says the signs have since been changed.
Either way, this kind of thing makes zero sense to me. Whatever you think about global warming – or whatever side of the political spectrum you reside – I can’t see how it’s good business to turn yr sign into a political platform that could alienate a certain portion of yr consumer base. I’m not saying CEOs aren’t allowed to have political beliefs or act on them in a private capacity, whether yr Tom Monaghan or Ben & Jerry. And I’m not saying you can’t build a business case on a target demo that agrees exclusively with yr personal politics and/or religious beliefs – phone service resellers do it all the time.
But when you’ve already built up a mass-market, it seems like the last thing you want to do is ask them to pick sides on a hot-button political issue for no apparent reason. Especially during a recession. And especially for something as apolitical as hamburgers.
Oh, that’s right. I forgot. Hamburgers ARE political.
I should have known. The Vandals told me that years ago.
Anarchy burger (hold the govt),
This is dF
popfiend ]: Like many of you, when I need incisive hard-hitting political analysis or the latest scientific data on global warming, I check the signs at Burger King. And the verdict on global warming has been issued. At least in Memphis.The Memphis Flyer investigates, and after being informed that the signs are legit and not a prank, eventually works out that the signs are not authorized by The King (a.k.a. Burger King Corp.).
The going theory is that the sign messages are the brainchild of someone at Memphis-based fast-food management company MIC, a franchisee which operates over 40 BKs as well as three Popeye's and five All-in-One's. MIC hasn’t given an official response yet.
Anyway, this interests me because it does highlight the risks of franchising a business. I wonder if BK or other franchise-based businesses have rules about that kind of thing, and what happens when you break them. If nothing else, a BKC spokesperson says the signs have since been changed.
Either way, this kind of thing makes zero sense to me. Whatever you think about global warming – or whatever side of the political spectrum you reside – I can’t see how it’s good business to turn yr sign into a political platform that could alienate a certain portion of yr consumer base. I’m not saying CEOs aren’t allowed to have political beliefs or act on them in a private capacity, whether yr Tom Monaghan or Ben & Jerry. And I’m not saying you can’t build a business case on a target demo that agrees exclusively with yr personal politics and/or religious beliefs – phone service resellers do it all the time.
But when you’ve already built up a mass-market, it seems like the last thing you want to do is ask them to pick sides on a hot-button political issue for no apparent reason. Especially during a recession. And especially for something as apolitical as hamburgers.
Oh, that’s right. I forgot. Hamburgers ARE political.
I should have known. The Vandals told me that years ago.
Anarchy burger (hold the govt),
This is dF
BEEF BEEF BEEF! BEEF NEBRASKA!
May. 28th, 2009 11:39 amSeeing as how meat products get a good reaction from you lot ...
That must have been some cow.
Medium rare,
This is dF
That must have been some cow.
Medium rare,
This is dF
BEEF BEEF BEEF! BEEF BOLOGNA!
May. 28th, 2009 01:05 am
Because there’s more to life than bacon.
Round, ready and right,
This is dF
