MORE SENSELESS ACTS OF BLOGGERY

I fly a lot.

Which is why one of my favorite author blurbs is the one for Douglas Adams, where it said he could usually be found in airport book stalls.

I can identify with that. I always bring a book on a flight, and pack a spare one in my luggage for the trip back. But sometimes I find myself in need of an emergency book – usually because the book I have takes a shorter time to read than I thought, or I had more time to read than I thought, or whatever.

The good news: airports always have books. Also – and I mention this because I typically travel to countries where English is a second or third language – most airports have English-language books.

The bad news: the selection is usually limited to the kinds of books I usually don’t read – mass-market fiction, Top 10 best-sellers, business advice, self-help books, romantic vampires, 50 Shades Of Whatever, etc.

So the challenge is to find a book I’d actually want to read, even if only because it’s either that or having no book at all. On the plus side, it’s a way to force me out of my comfort zone and try an author I normally wouldn’t try, or an author that I’ve kind sorta thought about trying, but have been putting off/avoiding. Sometimes the results are abysmal. But sometimes they’re quite rewarding.

Anyway.

The above scenario rarely ever happens. But I love browsing in bookstores anyhow, so I’ll usually stop in the airport bookshops while I’m waiting for my flight, whether I need a book or not. And I find myself playing a game:


The objective: try to identify at least one book I would actually buy if I needed one.

For example, I recently did this in the Barcelona airport, where the bookshops don’t have a very big English-language section, which makes it a bit challenging. Still, I managed to narrow it down to three:

1. Ross MacDonald, The Goodbye Look
2. Roberto Bolano, Antwerp
3. Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

I’ve read McCarthy before, and wouldn’t mind reading him again. And I’ve never read MacDonald before, but I’ve seen his name on books since I was a kid, so I was curious.

Still, I think I would have gone with Bolano – partly because he’s semi-local to Barcelona (he’s from Chile, but he lived near Barcelona from 1977 until his death in 2003), and partly because I became aware of him via an intro he wrote for another book. He seems like someone who might be worth checking out.

I didn't buy the book, of course, because I didn't need one. And I also didn’t need the extra weight of another book in my carry-on. But if I had needed one, that’s the one I would have got.

And yes, I do this all the time.

NOTE: The Barcelona results were actually kind of atypical. I don’t usually get that many options, and they’re usually not that literary. In most airports, I’m more likely to end up with something like Terry Pratchett (and that’s assuming it’s a Discworld book I haven’t read yet).

Ready for boarding,

This is dF

This is quite possibly the post you've been waiting for.

Some of you may remember that in the wake of Presidente Obama’s first election victory, a number of entrepreneurs worldwide raced to cash in on his name. One of them was a restaurant/bar owner in Barcelona. 

I have proof.





The building that houses it is under renovation, so that banner covers the original storefront signage, which looks like this.





As you can see, the Obama pub sports a British-African themed décor. Which is, to say the least, a little tacky, if not outright controversial. I don’t know if the décor was already in place when the owner came up with the name: I’m assuming it was.

Still, it’s the sort of thing that Orly Taitz or Donald Trump would find funny. Or compile into their Big Box O’ Evidence. Trump would probably buy it and open a chain of them across America if he thought it was worth the grief he’d get for it. Or if he was the least bit interested in the restaurant business.

Anyway, it is what it is, and I specifically took a detour to get a photo of it. Because I live to entertain you people.

Also, I live to annoy the kind of people who get annoyed very easily by Obama’s popularity. Which, of course, I find hilarious.

PRODUCTION NOTE: I didn’t have breakfast there, no. I was tempted, of course. But I didn’t really have time. And according to online reviews, it’s better for drinking than eating.

Up next: the random!

Somewhere in Africa,

This is dF

A minor point, but I suppose one worth mentioning:

I flew on Emirates Airlines for the first time. And the plane they put me on was an A380, also for the first time.

And, as it happened, the A380 that flew me from Dubai (my connection hub) was the first A380 to land in Barcelona.



They greeted us with water cannons. As you can see from this screen shot from my personal entertainment screen.



As for what it’s like to fly on an A380 … well, it's pretty much like any other plane. It doesn’t give you more meaningful room in economy class. The only real advantage is that everything is new – which means an up to date inflight entertainment system with on-demand video.

As for Emirates … I thought they were all right, as airlines go. I will say that flying to Dubai comes with a trade-off.

Pro: it takes what would usually be a 13-hour + 2 hour flight (there being no direct flight from HK to Barcelona) and reallocates the travel time to 8.5 hours and 6.5 hours, which is somewhat easier than having to sit on a plane for 13 hours at one time.

Con: it takes longer to get there once you factor in the layover. Added up, I spent over 18 hours traveling one way. And considering I don’t sleep well on planes, that is a long time.

Finally, a couple of comments about my first time in Dubai airport:

1. It’s the first airport I’ve ever been to that allows you to keep yr water bottle during the transit security screening.

2. It's the first airport I’ve ever been to where the shops and restaurants are open 24 hours.

Isn’t that interesting?

Up next: the art!

Making history,

This is dF

Me: And we’re back.

Internet: You were gone?

And so it goes.

Anyway, I spent last week in Barcelona (as part of my annual job-related pilgrimage to the world’s biggest mobile industry conference/exhibition), and the weekend recovering from the jet lag. Yes, they have Internets there, but as usual, I was too busy and too tired to liveblog anything non-work-related.

And long-time readers know what that means: a series of posts with pictures in them.

Starting now.

Things were a little different this year, thanks to (1) the event moving to a different venue and (2) my company’s incessant desire to spend as little money as possible on trips like this. Meaning: in past trips to Barcelona we’ve been staying at the same hotel, but the location was never that great, so we figured we’d try someplace different. The problem is that hotel rooms are hard to come by during convention week, and any hotel room you can get goes for something like 4x the normal rate.

So this year we tried something different: renting an apartment.

Turns out Barcelona has lots of apartments that tourists and traveling salesmen can rent on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. And they’re comparatively cheap, depending on when and where you book. Also, if yr going to share a room with yr boss, a two-bedroom apt has its advantages over a single room.

So that’s what we did.

Here’s what it looked like.

 

The apartment was pretty old (hey, it’s Barcelona – some of those buildings date back centuries), but in decent condition, and it had heat and (more importantly) free Wi-Fi. And the location wasn’t too bad, even though it takes longer to get to the venue, but that’s largely the product of the venue change – if they’d stayed in the same place, it’d be a slightly shorter commute.

If there’s a downside to it, it’s that, unlike a hotel or a serviced apartment, there’s no linen change, daily cleaning or concierge service. Also, no breakfast buffet. But that’s pretty minor.

Overall, it was an interesting experience. And all that for 750 euros (for five nights).

That might sound expensive. And it is. But seriously, the three-star hotel we used to stay at charged us at least 50% more, and for just a single room. So all up, it’s a bargain.

Up next: architecture!

Renting not buying,

This is dF

I’ll be broadcasting from Kuala Lumpur the next couple of days.

Also:



[Via Fat Man In A Little Coat]

Carry on.

Jackpot,

This is dF

I’m in Seoul, by the way. Have been since Monday, though I’ll be going back to Hong Kong tomorrow.

Since I haven’t had a chance to kick around much, here’s the obligatory view from my hotel room window.



Just behind that is Seoul Station (a major railroad station) and Seoul Cultural Station 284 (a.k.a. the old Seoul Station building, built in 1925), which looks like this:



Across from that is Seoul Square, which looked like this:



That walking image on Seoul Square is animated, incidentally.

And that’s about it from Seoul. I spent most of the trip in the hotel MCing a conference or typing furiously. And I head for the airport in the morning.

If you want to see more Seoul, you can always look at my pics from my last trip here two years ago. That’s what I do.


Which is relevant, actually, since I actually visited this very hotel during that trip. Or rather, the Seven Luck Casino right next to it.

Small world, eh?

What are the odds,

This is dF

And now, nine (9) random things about my side trip to Tennessee:

1. Full frontal nudity

I went through my very first full-body scan machine. Which means you can now see me naked on the internet somewhere. (Presuming you haven’t already.)

2. Sleepless nights

I had a lot of them, thanks to jet lag, 4:00am pick-up times, and a suicidal deer.

3. Air Force One

We passed it, according to the driver who took me to San Francisco airport at 4am. We were passing Travis Air Force Base at the time. It was dark, and all I saw was what looked like a jumbo jet silhouetted by floodlights, a shadow on the tarmac. I presume it was to do with this.

4. Joe Biden

I didn't see him, but he delayed my connecting flight out of Charlotte. Not personally – he’d arrived at the airport just before we were supposed to pull away from the gate (I presume it was to do with this), and they shut down all air traffic until he was clear of the area. Which took about 45 minutes.

5. More than a feeling

I had no CDs to listen to on the way to Nashville, and there was no iPod port, so I listened to the radio. I heard an awful lot of Boston, for some reason. Also, they're Light Rock now, apparently (though an argument could be made that they’ve always been Light Rock).

6. Used (and new) media

I had CDs to listen to on the trip back, thanks to my traditional stops at the Great Escape and Grimey’s. Now I have a new stop – McKay, which sells used books, CDs and videos. I’d been to the one in Knoxville (and went there this time too), but apparently they recently opened one in Nashville as well. Which means I now have some new Spinrad to read. And I have my old Cheech & Chong records back.

7. The ongoing death spiral of TV news

Why is it that when the US TV news media kicks into high gear and covers a story with hours of in-depth expert analysis, it's about something like Justin Bieber punching a photographer?

8. Pitbull

I saw him perform on the Today Show. The audience screamed for more. I wept for America.

9. Drunk shirtless cowboys and hookers

Spotted hanging out in front of a hotel next to a truck stop outside of Knoxville where I was refueling. I didn’t manage to get a picture, sorry.

To be fair, I don’t know for sure that they were cowboys and hookers. All I know is the guys were all shirtless, drinking beer, wearing cowboy hats, and accompanied by women in halter tops and Daisy Duke shorts. And they were all drinking Rolling Rock. It could have been a graduation party, for all I know. Or an office team-building retreat. Or something.

FWIW, I also saw a Hell's Angel walking a bulldog. 

Anyway, that’s about all I got.

Barbarism starts at home,

This is dF

I rent cars.

Sometimes they're not cars so much as pick-up trucks.



I should stress it was the only thing available. But it is handy when yr renting a car in East Tennessee, because you just blend right in (provided you put a Tennessee Vols logo and a window sticker praising Jesus on it).

Anyway, I hit a deer with it on I-40 East.



 

You should see the deer.

In a weird way, I was lucky on just about all counts except for the part about actually hitting the deer. For a start, it happened at 1:30am in the middle of nowhere, which meant no nearby traffic, so I had all the room in the world to swerve and avoid a head-on collision, albeit not enough time to miss it completely – I clipped it with the right front corner of the truck. You see the result.

Apart from that, I was lucky that I was able to drive away from it, and that I was driving a truck in the first place. (Ford trucks really are Built Ford Tough™, you know.) If I’d been driving (say) a Chevy Aveo, even a glancing blow like that could have potentially crippled it (and possibly me). I speak from experience – I hit a deer with a 1988 Subaru Justy on a two-lane blacktop at 60mph. The repair bill was $3,500.

So all in all, I got off light.

But then again, maybe not. I have no car insurance (as I don’t own a car), and after forgetting to sign up for the cheap full-coverage plan offered by Priceline, I was dumb/cheap enough to opt for the lowest insurance plan offered by the rental car company – which, I’m told will probably only cover the cost of a new grille. I’m also told that car rental companies can be pretty ruthless about this kind of thing. So I’m expecting the worst, and to be a lot poorer before all this is over.

Fucking deer. Where’s Ted Nugent when you need him?

BONUS TRACK: Oh, and when I came back to HK last night, United Airlines was kind enough to lose my luggage. 

Again. 

The hits keep on coming,

This is dF

Reporting live from Santa Clara, California.

No, really.

I am in the courtyard suite of a hotel across the street from Yahoo! Headquarters (also across the street: the Great America theme park and an IHOP), and I am here in the name of telephones journalism.


Here’s how that’s gone so far:

1. I was hit up for secondary screening before I even got on the plane. They made me take off my shoes. 

2. I had the following exchange with the ICE officer who let me back into the country:

Him: “You know, you look like that guy from Mythbusters.”

Me: “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

3. I had lunch at the IHOP. Downside: the food took 45 minutes to arrive (even though the restaurant wasn’t all that busy). Upside: the waitress felt bad enough about it to comp the bill. Also, DAMN good strawberry/banana pancakes.

So we’re off to a rollicking start here in Santa Clara, I can tell you. Which is good because there’s bugger all to do here unless you have a car. Which I don’t.

And now, the jet lag and deadlines. To say nothing of this monster strip-mall burrito I must now deal with.

On the house,

This is dF

No half-assed series of Bangkok business trip pics would be complete without some gratuitous giant airport statues of local mythological demons keeping watch over the check-in counters.