MORE SENSELESS ACTS OF BLOGGERY

I eat food.

There was much of it this US trip. Too much, actually. Which is typical of my stateside trips – a friend ordered a small salad and it came on a plate the size of a large pizza.

Also, as usual, most of this took place in the kinds of restaurants where the servers are yr new BFF to the point where you want to punch them. Especially Chili’s. But they are designed for hanging out with actual friends for a couple of hours, which was what I was doing there in the first place (otherwise I’d be eating at, I dunno, Sonic or something).

I’ve already covered the IHOP in Santa Clara, so here are some bloggable highlights from the Tennessee leg of the trip:

1. Bel Air Grill

CLASSIFICATION: Bar and grill with pseudo-50s décor and a pseudo-50s menu.

BLOGGABILITY: the gratuitous pseudo-Elvis statue out front.



THE FOOD: I had an overpriced chili dog. It was pretty good.

FUN FACT: I passed by an antique store in Nashville, and there were about four identical pseudo-Elvis statues out front. I’d have bought one if it wouldn’t have put me well over my baggage weight limit.

2. Rafferty’s

CLASSIFICATION: Ostensibly a steakhouse, but if you've ever been to Ruby Tuesday's, TGI Friday's or Shooters 52, you pretty much know what's on the menu.

BLOGGABILITY: The gratuitous rack of flatscreens.



One screen was tuned to the World Poker Championship (or something involving poker, anyway). Cat, Suzie and I couldn’t stop giggling at it, especially when they showed the guy wearing the Brazilian flag as a cape and looking bored to death.

THE FOOD: I had a bacon burger drowned in BBQ sauce. Tasty!

FUN FACT: The server was a good sport who pretended to get my Thin Lizzy references.

3. Misaki

CLASSIFICATION: A Japanese steakhouse – the kind where you get yr own chef grilling meat with knife-fu, juggling utensils, throwing bowls into his hat, setting the table on fire, etc.

BLOGGABILITY: See above.

THE FOOD: I had the ribeye and teriyaki chicken with veggies and fried rice. Very tasty, but way too much of it.

FUN FACT: I’d never actually been to that kind of restaurant before, and my sister was keen to take me. Entertaining, it was.

And there you are.

Check please,

This is dF

Meanwhile, just outside the Satay King in the basement of the Prudential Centre:



PRODUCTION NOTE: The Obama statue is a recent addition to the Satay King foyer décor. The pirate babe has been there for quite awhile. 

Say what you will about Obama as a US president, but as a global cultural icon he’s clearly made his mark – even if it’s just inspiring people to cash in on his name and likeness.

Which, as far as I know, no one ever did with Junior Bush.

Apart from Americans, I mean.

Sit yrself on down with yr POTUS,

This is dF

With three (3) chart-bothering singles under our belts, the Banäna Deäthmüffins plan for world domination continues.

And we’re proud to announce that we’ve picked up a key endorsement from bedsitter23 , the most influential tastemaker in Ankeny, Iowa, who gave us rave reviews and a gratuitous plug on his blog. And he hasn’t even heard any of our songs yet. If that’s not a sign that we’re doing something right, I’d like to know what is.

On the other hand, the BDM is missing one key component for The Big Time – a signature dance. So we sat down at the rooftop pub, put our heads together, and came up with one.

And we wrote it in about the time it’ll take you to listen to it. (around 1 minute 38 seconds, to be precise.)

It’s about seafood. Because how many seafood dances are there?

Well, around 24 of them, as it turns out. And we put them together in one song for you, so that makes 25.

Yr welcome.



( How many seafood dances do YOU know? )


You can take yr pants back off now,

This is dF

My kind of restaurant.

Although who besides an 80s pr0n producer would name a Mexican restaurant The Blue Fox?



[Via Radioactive Lingerie]

Holy guacamole,

This is dF

And now, pan-fried nutburgers.



Great with chewing gum. Apparently.

[Via RetroSpace]

In a word: fail. 

Chew on that,

This is dF

You must choose.



Via vintage_ads.

A more detailed case for Deviled Tongue is here.

Branded with the devil but fit for the gods,

This is dF

I promised you a giant monkey driving a New York taxi.

Here you are.



Courtesy of this restaurant in Iluma. If you’ve been to Ruby Tuesday’s, you have a fair idea of what’s on the menu. I had the Chicago Dog. It had ketchup on it, which is Epic Fail in the hot dog business, and grounds for disproportionate violence if you actually happen to be from Chicago.

But (1) I have enough experience with regional interpretations of Western food that I never seriously expected it to be a proper Chicago hot dog in the first place – I ordered more out of curiosity, and (2) I’m not from Chicago, so I didn’t really feel entitled to challenge the manager to a fistfight*.

*DISCLAIMER: All Chicago jokes are told with the greatest respect for both the city of Chicago and its residents, some of whom read this blog and are fine upstanding people who don’t beat up restaurant managers that don’t know how to make a proper hot dog, and are also known for their grand sense of humor. Please don’t hit me.**

** Humor.

Up next: Copyright infringement in a cup!

Hold the ketchup,

This is dF

And this is what I ate on my one big night out with the Telephones! team:



Courtesy of this restaurant here, which claims to make the best ham on Earth (or at least the best Iberian ham).

I don’t know about that, but it was pretty good ham.

FUN FACT: We didn’t intend to eat there, but we tried to go to what someone said was the best tapas bar in the city – and the wait was one hour and fifteen minutes. So we walked around looking for someplace else nearby to eat and found this place. So it worked out well in the end.

Ham it up,

This is dF

So. Three French hens.

Hens are chickens.

So ... have some chicken.



They’re not French, I know. That’s why I threw in the waffles.

FUN FACT: We had the Tapeheads soundtrack at the first college radio station where I worked. So this track got a lot of airplay when it was my shift, is what I’m saying. As did this Dead Kennedys track.

As seen on TV,

This is dF

If that last post was a little heavy or inappropriate for Thanksgiving ... well, I do have something a little more in keeping with the true spirit of the holiday.

Mainly, eating.



I got enough taters,

This is dF