MORE SENSELESS ACTS OF BLOGGERY

How many incongruities can you spot in this message?



[Via Interstellar Barbarella]

To be fair, I for one would love to have an ice cream cone before lunch. If you know what I mean.

Sugar walls,

This is dF

ITEM: A year or so after the Canadian branch of Campbell’s Soup releases a line of Halal-certified soups and broths, conservative bloggers duly freak out and organize a boycott of Campbell’s for caving in to Sharia law and supporting terrorism.

Because as we all know, once you start making Halal foods, you might as well just throw away the Constitution and make the US a Muslim theocracy, because that’s exactly what it will lead to.

I mean, it’s so obvious. Look at New York. They approved the Not Quite At Ground Zero But Close Enough Terrrost Command Center, and now everyone in the state is Muslim because it’s the law.

See also: Dearborn, MI and Frankford, TX.

No soup for you,

This is dF

Good morning. It’s Monday. And it’s Labor Day in the US, which may mean that you’ve got the day off. Unless yr employed in one of those jobs where you don’t get the day off. Or you are but you volunteered because you need the overtime. Or yr unemployed, so it’s just an excuse to have a BBQ.

Just like this post is an excuse to post a gratuitous BBQ pin-up.



Hopefully that’ll put a little more heat in yr hibachi.

Kiss the cook,

This is dF

Via vintage_ads 



Smoked, sauced and cooked,

This is dF

Via vintage_ads :



Cubed,

This is dF

Via vintage_ads :



FUN FACT: I never liked Pork And Beans as a kid, and didn’t know a single kid who did. It was the “pork” that threw me off.

That’s not pork,

This is dF

I’ve had dreams like this, of course.



Ferme la porte,

This is dF

Here’s something you may not know about me: the first ever “Asian” food I ever tried was Korean food. I tried it in Clarksville, TN at a Korean restaurant near Fort Campbell, and became a regular for the 4.5 years I lived there – which is also how I learned to use chopsticks long before I ever moved to Hong Kong.

So of course, when I go to Korea, food is a highlight. And as you can see, it’s not all kimchi.



Which isn’t to say we didn’t have much kimchi. Quite the opposite. We even made our own (the woman at center row, right? That’s our kimchi instructor).

But that mosaic is a bit misleading in that 80% of our meals (included in our tour package) looked a lot like the 8th photo (bottom row, center). They were good, but hot pots get tedious after a few days – especially when yr looking forward to Korean BBQ where you cook yr own meat.

So we took advantage of street snack stalls when we could – such as that corn dog coated with french fries (top row, right), or the BBQ chicken/kidney kebabs (top row, center). The chicken kebab was the one that almost killed both me and the bridal unit from Spice OD. The french-fried corn dog was okay but messy and something I should probably never eat again.

The best snack food: the pancake on a stick with a fried egg in the middle (center row, left).

Not pictured: the donuts we had at a Mister Donut in Myongdong, and the banana crepe handrolls in the Doota food court.

A word about the moose head:

That’s the Beer Liquor Cabin, a place near our hotel in the suburb of Gunpo. We went kicking around after dinner, saw the moose head and instantly needed to walk in and drink something. As you do. The whiskey was pricey, so I stuck with Cass beer. We also had clams. In a hot pot, of course.

Final note: one thing I noticed in Seoul was that cafes and bars aren’t always separate businesses. I lost count of how many signs I saw saying: “Coffee, Beer, Whiskey”.

Also: the last time I was in Seoul was something like 2002. One obvious difference: there are a lot more Starbucks now.

Next: the police!

Are you going to eat that,

This is dF

And now, Puppy Speed Noms. Because the Internet was invented specifically for this kind of thing.



Don’t wolf yr food,

This is dF

You’ll need one when the Obamapocalypse comes. That’s why you need to send $149 to the Survival Seed Bank.

As seen on Glenn Beck.

Here’s why you need a Crisis Garden:


The whole spiel is worth reading – it’s a masterpiece of paranoid apocalyptic fantasy marketing, especially the part that explains that if you wait for the Food Apocalypse before buying these seeds, it’s probably already too late.

Not that I’m against growing yr own food (especially now that doing so is apparently a political statement whether you intended it to be or not).

Still, it occurs to me that when the Food Apocalypse comes, cityfolk will be totally screwed.

Except Detroit.

Ironically.

(Nothing but) flowers,

This is dF